Trying to please other people has been a weakness I have grappled with my whole life. I always felt that if I wanted to keep peace with others and be accepted, I had to go along with others’ wants whether or not I agreed with them.
I have learned (the hard way) that by always going along with other people, I was losing myself. My self-esteem would never improve if I didn’t learn to set boundaries.
I realize now that there is a huge difference between doing something out of goodwill or simply good intentions, and doing something just to make someone else happy.
Now, as part of my journey in recovery, I work very hard to set boundaries for myself, which for me is the first step towards freedom from people pleasing.
I am no longer afraid of being rejected if I express myself honestly to get my own needs met. And I don’t think of it as being selfish, either.
Being a people-pleaser can make us vulnerable – a target for those who want to control our lives. On the other hand, by setting boundaries for myself, I am increasing my own self-esteem and becoming more positive and happy in my life and my recovery.