This past weekend, I made the decision to sit down and “review” my own progress in recovery. I began to think about the barriers I have faced and overcome, and those I still struggle with.
I know from my past experience in recovery that it is very easy to get “stuck”. When this happens, sobriety becomes boring and unproductive. Finding peace and happiness in recovery would be all but impossible.
Early in my recovery this time I had mixed feelings about it – I wanted that new life sobriety would bring but at the same time, I didn’t know if I was ready to let go of the “enjoyment” I felt when I drank. It took a few months for me to make the decision to fully commit to my recovery.
Once I was sure that sobriety was the only path for me, there were other barriers that had to be dealt with. I worked at building my self-esteem and slowly overcame my tendency to isolate. I was willing and motivated to change my way of thinking, although in all honesty, I do still struggle with this.
I also continue to wrestle with my need to have everything “now”, but I also recognize and accept that “recovery is a process, not an event”. I know, too, that I have to keep up the fight against negative thoughts that will impede my progress.
My journey in recovery has just begun, and although I have overcome some obstacles, I am sure there will be more to be faced in the future. The difference for me now is that I have the faith in my own strength and determination to get through whatever is put in my path.