Experience In Recovery Archives

RELAPSE PREVENTION – RECOVERY

THE START

The very start of recovery is Socialization at 12 step meetings. The first part of that is finding a HOME group. In effect finding a section of people that will accept you, warts and all. That is they shake your hand and introduce themselves, I hated that part when they asked if I was a new comer. I wanted to be seen as an intelligent intellectual knowing everything. I was not aware of my ego until I got a sponsor who gently pointed this out. The first change was I stopped sitting at the back of the room. The second change I became aware of was; I am not superior to any one in this room just because I spent time in a Rehab center. Just then I got in touch with my humility “I am no better or worse than anybody else”. My sponsor gave me a 12 & 12 and I read the first step. I was familiar with the first four steps as I attempted them in treatment. The first step outside of Rehab was a much different reading. I found myself engrossed in it. The rehab had thought me to focus and concentrate the realization of this helped me to find gratitude. I have always been a good reader all my adult life but never appreciated the skill until sobriety. Since then I have carried a small 12 & 12 near at hand.

THE GROWTH

This stage of recovery in reality opened my mind to find awareness. I had got in touch with my feelings in Rehab but in the world I needed to be in touch with feelings when making decisions on all levels, for example finding a place to live. What to put into it apart from this human being, clothes, furniture, and towels sheets etc. Feelings mean my likes and dislikes, where in the city to live. My head was starting to hurt at this point and then the thought I could do with a drink came into my head. Phoned my sponsor he began to help with the living arrangements. Find a place near your favorite meeting. Setting me up for Accountability. If you can live in an area where there are three support meetings in a triangle around you. (Setting me up for Support). Find a large apartment building with other individuals in recovery living there, then you will find examples of wellness in the recovering people, and you can make friends and copy effective behavior from them, setting me up with good examples. For now stay in the job that helped you into Rehab. Keeping me in a routine while the shifts changed every week the early one ended at 12.30 and the late shift started at 2.30pm allowing me to always attend the 1-2pm daily meeting. This I attended without fail for two years, strengthening the connections with well people. Then I read a book by Claudia Black about Adult Children of Alcoholics (A.C.O.A.) issues and realized I needed help with relationships and attended these meeting and reconciled my family of origin. Over a period of time I learned to love them and accept every part of them and me.

October 3, 2017/by Frank Terzo

OASIS RELAPSE PREVENTION GROUP

Experience In Recovery

Lead by an experienced Addictions Counsellor, the groups include such discussion topics as:

Understanding Relapse (how it happens and how to avoid it)
Personality of an Addicted (tolerance, anxiety, grandiosity)
Relapse Warning Signs (attitude & behavior changes, H.A.L.T.)
Setting Goals for Relapse Prevention

The sessions are held every Thursday afternoon at 2:30 p.m. in our location at 921 Danforth Ave. (at Donlands). There is no charge for attending the groups. EVERYONE IS WELCOME!

For more information, give us a call at 416-461-7739.

FLYER FOR RELAPSE PREVENTION

July 12, 2017/by Frank Terzo

LET’S MAKE A DEAL

Experience In Recovery

I personally hate dealing with conflict! It makes me feel extremely uncomfortable and like my skin is crawling. I would rather just ignore it or change everything. I had a very bad outlook on life and thought that people were generally useless stupid and selfish creatures who only cared for themselves. Although I am not 100% wrong on that opinion it was a very closed view of life and it really showed me how I thought about myself. I didn’t think I was worth standing up for, even for myself. I didn’t think others cared about my opinion or my needs. By thinking that I was a mind reader I didn’t stand up for myself. I have walked away from a lot of money and put myself through unnecessary stress for no reason.

I have made it one of my commitments to myself to face conflicts and be true to myself and get what I deserve out of life. No more settling for the crumbs of life. This doesn’t mean I will become an aggressive person or vindictive. I am currently dealing with a situation where a friend owes me $270 and instead of just writing it off as a loss like I normally would have done, I am working with this person to resolve the situation in a mutually beneficial solution. I am only asking for a weekly payment to get what is mine. I am not going to get where I want to be in life by being a rug. I am learning and realizing that I am worthy of getting the things I deserve and I am not less than anyone. We are all equal and unique. Conflicts in life will arise, and when they do I will face then properly and at the end of the day all will be fair.

Jason

May 12, 2017/by Frank Terzo

I CAN DO THIS!

Experience In Recovery

Commitments, who needs them? Well as it turns out, to have a successful life everyone does. In my life before recovery I had no problem making commitments to other people and following through with them. I needed people to like me and feel like I was useful and I could only do that through the approval of others. But making commitments to myself? Well I could do what I needed to do for myself tomorrow, unfortunately tomorrow never came. I found that keeping commitments usually depended on what I would get out of them or who it was effecting. It would be easy to leave a good friend or a family member stranded to go and play cool guy with my drug dealing buddies. I knew that I would always have my family and I could apologize to them when then I needed something.

Commitments are for myself a very confusing thing. I often over complicate my life by taking on commitments that are unrealistic or make an easy project feel like a university science fair project. Lately though I have made a continued commitment to myself to stop doing this. I am trying to live by the four agreements; be impeccable with your word, don’t take anything personally, don’t make assumptions, and always do your best. If I can keep using these agreements in my everyday life I believe that I will have a happier more fulfilling life.

Now that I am enjoying early recovery I have to make it a priority to focus on my recovery over anything else. Work, school, family, girls, money. EVERTHING! If I cannot keep my sobriety now than I will lose all those things anyways. I have to make it a commitment to call my sponsor everyday, say my prayers, and go to meetings. I don’t know much about living sober in my adult life, so it is my commitment to people who are doing well in recovery and follow their actions.

Jason

May 12, 2017/by Frank Terzo

MY THOUGHTS ON GRATITUDE

Experience In Recovery

Every once in a while, I forget to be grateful for what I have gained this past year in recovery and the people who have given me continued support. I admit it is still easy for me to focus on the negative instead of the positive.

One day this past week, I sat down and made a list of the things I truly have to be grateful for. I won’t bore you with all of them (!) but a few really jumped out at me. I’m grateful to be part of my family again (I now get invited to social gatherings), and I am able to enjoy my numerous great-nieces and nephews. I am working in a very supportive environment and am grateful to be a productive member of society again. Most of all, I am just grateful to be alive and happy.

I hope that I can continue to be grateful daily because I am sure that’s where serenity comes from.

August 30, 2016/by Frank Terzo

FINDING HAPPINESS IN THE SMALL THINGS

Experience In Recovery

Coming into recovery gives all of us a chance to turn our lives around. It certainly did for me.

For a long time, alcohol was the only thing that made me happy or gave me any sense of comfort. Of course, it was only a temporary, fleeting happiness.

Once I got sober, I had to learn some important lessons: – Always be grateful for what I have and for the people who helped me – Not to expect everything to be fixed right away – Keep my future goals small and believe that I could achieve them – and most importantly, to find happiness in the small things in life.

Today, I find great joy in small accomplishments and other things that may not mean much to others but bring me great happiness and serenity.

One of the best pieces of advice I have received along the road to recovery is: Try to find the little things in life that make you happy – it’s easier than you may think.

SC

July 4, 2016/by Frank Terzo

Humility – A Tool For Growth

Experience In Recovery

It is very easy for those of us in recovery to forget where we came from – we can sometimes have a very short memory. We suddenly forget how we started our lives in recovery – and those people who helped us along the way.

Some of us can even let our ego make us believe that we know everything, that we can become the teacher instead of the student.

In other words, with success in recovery, we can lose the ability to be grateful for what we have and the supports that got us there.

This gets us nowhere. We MUST remind ourselves every day to be grateful – this takes a good dose of humility. Humility is what keeps us grounded in the realities of life.

While it is okay to be proud of our accomplishments, we must always remember where we came from, how we got there and where our ego or lack of humility can lead us if we let it.

June 27, 2016/by Frank Terzo

IT TAKES TIME

Experience In Recovery

Thinking back, I realize how easy it was to be on what we in recovery call “the pink cloud”. This had something of a positive affect – it drove my excitement and confidence in returning to a sober life.

I also knew that the enthusiasm I had could be a double-edged sword, because it could easily cause me to take on too much too fast – to try to get back everything I had lost in one day.

I had to (and still have to) understand that it took many years to destroy my life – I was on that downward spiral for a long time. I had to be alert, particularly about my expectations – they could lead me down the negative path of perfectionism and self-criticism for not accomplishing enough. This is very dangerous thinking for those of us in recovery.

To maintain my sobriety, I know that while it is good to have goals for my sober future, I have to prioritize these goals and maintain a balance in my life. As we all do, I have to remember that “it takes time”.

June 22, 2016/by Frank Terzo

THEN AND NOW

Experience In Recovery

My journey in recovery began a year ago. The feelings I had then were ones of despair and depression. Thankfully, I became convinced that returning to treatment was the only answer. During this first year, I have had a healthy fear of relapse coupled with a very strong desire to maintain my sobriety. I have used all the tools I had learned in treatment, and while I knew I faced challenges in my life – finding a place to live, finding a job, replacing everything I had lost – I have gone at it with as much enthusiasm as I can muster. I have made it a point to talk often to others in recovery and I try to continue to attend 12-step meetings. I have also had the opportunity to write about my feelings and emotions, which has had an unexpected but wonderful effect on my overall attitude towards recovery.

This journey became the foundation for my sobriety. Now I am working towards becoming a productive part of society again. I have a whole new career and I returned to school. I am happier now than I have been in a long time. My family relationships have healed and we are closer than ever. I feel satisfied that I am heading in the right direction and that things can only get better.

The difference between then and now is almost immeasurable. I am grateful to those who have helped along the way and those that continue to be a part of my life today.

SC

June 10, 2016/by Frank Terzo

ISOLATION

Experience In Recovery

A lot of people in recovery have an unhealthy habit of isolating – I know I did. We do this for many reasons. We may feel shame or guilt for our behaviours when we were drinking or using, we may fear being around people, places and things that could trigger our addiction, or we may isolate simply because it is familiar to us.

Unfortunately, isolation means we spend a lot of time in our own heads, and this is not beneficial in sobriety. We have to learn to avoid getting lost in our own negative thinking.

Isolation also results in avoidance of our support systems. We don’t move ahead in our recovery, we retreat into old habits and behaviours, causing us to isolate even more.

Isolation causes anger and resentments to build until we start to crave something that makes us feel better – usually a drink or drug. Our self-esteem we have been trying to nurture in recovery goes down and we often develop physical and emotion health problems. We can find it difficult to tell others how we really feel so we hibernate.

When I find myself isolating, I take stock of myself because it is a sign that something is not right.

Being alone can be good at times, but chronic isolation is detrimental to our recovery, so if we see that we are spending too much time alone, we must look at why and correct it quickly.

June 9, 2016/by Frank Terzo