Experience In Recovery Archives - Page 9 of 9

COMPLACENCY IN RECOVERY

The dictionary defines complacency as “a feeling of quiet pleasure or security while unaware of some potential danger or defect.” It is a false confidence in oneself.

People who do not suffer from addiction issues can afford to be complacent in some areas of their lives but those of us in recovery must never become complacent about our sobriety. Once people have been sober for a year or two, it becomes a habit – they no longer think about it and forget they even had a problem with drugs and/or alcohol to begin with. They just don’t realize that recovery is a process, not a one-time occurrence.

Complacency can cause a person in recovery to return to unhealthy behaviours – they can become workaholics, shopaholics, exercise demons – they replace one addiction with another.

When I first got sober many years ago, I was eager and motivated to work on my recovery and was willing to put the work in to maintain it.

However, over time, I became complacent – I stopped going to twelve-step meetings and attending alumni meetings at my treatment centre. I never allowed myself time to continue to work on my recovery. My focus had changed – I thought I “had” recovery. Inevitably, I relapsed.

I learned through my own experience that changing my harmful behaviour (active addiction) was not enough – when I got sober this time I knew I had to do more. Today, I am committed to my sobriety and continue to do the “do” things.

Those of us in recovery must remind ourselves daily that we cannot become complacent – we must continue the activities that have been helping to keep us sober.

October 30, 2015/by Frank Terzo

THE STIGMA OF ADDICTION – PART 3

Experience In Recovery

When I came to recovery, I did not expect society to open its arms to welcome me. I had no illusions. I knew how people perceived alcoholism and the addicted.

The chaos the alcoholic creates and the resulting damage to society are enormous and costly. Families are destroyed. Money is spent. Lives are lost because of drunk drivers.

All of these undesirable actions (and more!) of the addicted stay in the minds of people and create negative feelings and fears – a stigma that is difficult to erase.

Society’s perception of the alcoholic or drug addict results from a lack of knowledge about recovery and it is up to those of us who are now living sober to educate others and help to minimize this stigma.

October 29, 2015/by Frank Terzo

THE STIGMA OF ADDICTION – PART 2

Experience In Recovery

MY FAMILY AND ME

During the first days and months of my recovery, I had to face my family’s fears and distrust. My past behavior had such an effect on them that their fears were certainly justified.

It took me time to regain their trust. By the way, I understood their doubts but I knew that if I did the right things, I could restore their faith and trust in me.

The right things were to maintain my sobriety, be honest with myself and others and to fulfill my obligations to them and others.

October 29, 2015/by Frank Terzo

THE STIGMA OF ADDICTION – PART 1

Experience In Recovery

It is a sad fact that society hesitates to trust those in recovery from drug and alcohol addictions. For a “normal person”, it is difficult to understand the changes that the addicted has to go through in order to stay clean and sober.

It is also difficult for the non-addicted to overlook the harm the active user did to him or herself, to his or her family, and to society.

The fear that the recovering person may relapse at any time is always present in the minds of those who do not suffer with addiction.

So for these reasons, the stigma of addiction is still prevalent.

October 27, 2015/by Frank Terzo

TRUST AND RECOVERY

Experience In Recovery

Because of past experiences, both in my childhood and in adulthood, I have found it difficult to trust others. Throughout my youth, I felt that my thoughts and feelings were often ignored. I was not important enough for others to care about. In my perception, any emotional pain I might be going through was overlooked. As a result of this, or maybe because of it, my self esteem was almost non-existent and I often felt victimized.

My mistrust of others also developed because of promises made to me by others that were never kept. This seem to happen a lot in my life – I felt used– a victim of others’ whims. I carried secrets because I couldn’t trust anyone enough to share – I generally told people what I thought they wanted to hear – there was no point in opening up. I was afraid it would be used against me.

When I came into recovery, I realized that an important part of a sober life is self-disclosure. But how could I share with others with so much mistrust in my psyche? I knew I had to start somewhere. So I started with my family. I have recently shared some of my feelings of inadequacy and bouts of depression with them, and to my surprise it has actually brought us closer. They didn’t laugh or ignore me, instead they took what I said to heart and we now have a much better relationship. I no longer feel competitive with them or “less than” – I feel loved.

Trust is something I continue to work on, but I know that by taking risks without fear of rejection or failure, self-disclosure will become easier in time. I have learned a lot about self-acceptance and I believe that is the first step towards trusting others. I am learning to believe in the fairness in life – after all, what have I really got to lose?

October 27, 2015/by Frank Terzo