One of the biggest challenges I’ve had since coming back into recovery is finding ways to deal with disagreements or conflicts with others without getting angry or resentful.
In some cases I have been able to avoid what could have become a conflict altogether, but I know that this solution is not always going to be possible. What I am learning to do is not make a big deal out of or take things too personally when I disagree with someone.
Everyone has different needs and wants and this means that differences of opinions will happen. What is important is how we react to them. I try very hard to look at both sides of a disagreement and try to see the other person’s point of view.
I know that a conflict with someone will cause anger – at this stage of my recovery, my emotions tend to be a bit like a roller coaster and I want to see things as black or white, right or wrong which will almost guarantee that if I am not careful about how I react in a situation, I can easily become angry and resentful. I have to make sure I acknowledge that someone else’s viewpoint might be valid.
I have found that if I stay open-minded, as hard as that might be sometimes, and if I am willing to listen to the other person, I can control my emotions and deal with differences without getting upset (which accomplishes nothing). It is not healthy for anyone to carry anger and resentments, especially if we want to maintain our serenity and our recovery.