People pleasing can be a common defect for alcoholics. Oftentimes I feel the need to please others in fear of losing the relationship if I don’t. I will people please to the point of building resentments within myself because I really want to say no instead of yes.
I’ve come to a point in my life where setting boundaries is so important for my growth and my recovery. I’m learning what kind of behavior I’m willing to accept from others, and what kind of behavior I find offensive and do not wish to tolerate. I used to just tolerate everything, now I am practicing assertiveness and letting others know that I am offended.
Setting boundaries for me is a lot about teaching others how to treat me. A boundary shows me where I end and someone else begins, leading me to a sense of ownership.
Taking responsibility for my life opens up many different options. However, if I do not “own” my life, my choices and options become very limited.
There is a lot more freedom in setting personal boundaries for myself than there is always saying yes, and thinking I need to make you happy before I do what’s best for me.