I have come to realize recently that my old habits, particularly the habit of negative thinking, are slowly disappearing.
A situation arose this week where I live and I did not react to it the way I would have nine months ago. The “old” me would have gone into a tailspin. I would have been angry, frustrated and ultimately depressed. It is likely that if I didn’t have the tools I have gained since coming into recovery, I would have headed straight out for a drink. Because I am conscious of changing my habits, my thinking is changing as well and as a result, the thought of relapse did not even occur to me.
I have changed my habit of considering everything in black and white, right or wrong, and the result is that I can now look at situations such as happened this week in a neutral way.
I did some soul searching and knew that, first, the situation is completely out of my control. Getting upset or angry (or negative) about the issue would only hurt myself. I didn’t cause the issue, and I could not take it personally. It was not the end of the world.
I then sat down and thought about all the things I have to be grateful for. I knew that gratitude outweighs any negative issues I might come up against.
I realized that when I change my old thought patterns, which were habitual, I can overcome obstacles in my life. What is important is how I react to certain issues. Changing habits means that my behaviours are healthier, and I can find humour where I used to find frustration. What is most important is that I refuse to let something come between me and my serenity. It is possible to look at things in a positive light. And for that I am grateful.